每天都在伺候5個情人～　帥爸曬「幸福5劈照片」網友：超羨慕！

男人最害怕被貼上「花心」、「負心漢」這類的負面標籤，不過 IG 上有一位帥哥 Simon Hooper 分享了自己與5位「情人」互動的照片，卻吸引了近百萬名粉絲的追蹤，到底為什麼會這樣呢？

▼擁有5個「情人」卻大受歡迎，難道這就是帥哥才有的優勢嗎？

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Breast cancer is a right shitter. it doesn't care who you are, where you're from or what you've done with your time on this little floating ball of rock we call Earth – it's just out to make lives difficult. But for all the devastation it leaves in its wake, the one positive it does do is unite us all in our hatred of it. I may personally be lacking the boob department, but I'm surrounded by 5 fierce women and have witnessed first hand my own mum battle breast cancer and successfully tell it, in no uncertain terms to "sod off", so I want to ensure that I do everything I can to support the fight. That's why I'm proud to be part the @FashionTargetsBreastCancer campaign in collaboration with @marksandspencer – It's fashion with the power to save lives as 30% from every sale will go straight to @BreastCancerNow to fund vital research, so please click on the link in my bio, get shopping and show support by making a fashion statement. #MakeAStatement #cancercandoone #fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife @marksandspencerpr #breastcancernow

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▼原來他的5位「情人」，就是他的老婆和4個女兒！

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It's taken 9 months from conception to being fully formed, involved sleepless nights, back ache, loss of hair & hormonal imbalances that have meant I've been as emotionally stable as bowl of microwaved jelly, but today was my due date. As some of you may have noticed, I'm distinctly lacking in the ovaries department but I've finally managed to deliver my own very own baby. Please welcome to the world my 5th child – Forever Outnumbered – (she's definitely going to bullied at school with a name like that) – she's perfect in every way, has made people snort tea with laughter & we couldn't be prouder. Get you hands on my baby in hard back, audio or ebook version from today (link my bio)! Just goes to show that with dedication, passion, the support of the people around you & the ability to operate on less sleep than a professional insomniac in training for a no-sleep marathon, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. I hope everyone enjoys it & remember it's for anyone that likes my writing, not just parents! (Fyi the twins aren't happy about the new arrival) cover photo by @philippajames .#sheshere #duedate #proudfather #familyportrait #newesthooperaddition #author #doanythingyouputyourmindto #nosleep #foreveroutnumbered #Fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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▼除了大女兒和二女兒以外，兩個小女兒是可愛的雙胞胎！

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We seem to have been given the gift of time even though I don't remember asking for it. Thanks to the kids who are still not quite adjusted & keep referring to UK time, we're up before the sun rises, providing us with a full-on 15 hours of awake time to stuff with more fillings into than the burger I had for lunch. As a fringe benefit to early rises, not only did we get to transport Ottie around in full diva mode (she refused to take off the glasses or ears, not even for passing princesses), we were also one of the first people into the park, so after necking caffeinated drinks, we hit 'Tower of Terror' – a 13 floor free fall in an elavator (or 'lift' for us British lot). I think I left my breakfast somewhere up on the top floor but everyone came out alive & wanting more. Then, with failing legs by 12pm, all the girls took turns to go on one of the popular rides that never has a queue – my shoulders. I swear I'm 3 inches shorter now than at the start of the day. How come I never get carried!? #dadsshouldersarethebest #leftmybreakfastupstairs #familyganghang @waltdisneyworld @visitflorida #ad #loveflorida #MagicKingdom #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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▼生活中女人堆當中，這樣的情形每天都在上演！

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Did anyone else get the memo to inform all parents that its international opposites day today? No? Me neither but Apparently all children have been informed it's totally ok to do the exact opposite of what all overbearing full grown humans tell them to do. Case in point – this evening's Bathtime – I said "please stop splashing! mummy will kill me when I forget to tidy this up later". What they heard was "please go ahead & start up a toddler induced wave machine the scale of which could be used to test war ships, soak the floor & then flail about like a confined depressed killer whale which will eventually eat it's trainer". Turns out it's fine though as the water has now drained through the cracks in the floor boards & has seeped through the ceiling downstairs. This only even happens when I'm in charge on my own. Coincidence? #bathtimetusnami #theyremakingmelookbad #ineedflooddefences #imadeadman #thewaterisnowdownstairs #Fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad

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▼他也是女兒們的人肉坐墊！

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Despite the fact my name is not Charles emes and I'm not available to buy today with 0% interest over 3 years from DFS, every single time I go down on my knees to retrieve discarded objects, I'm set upon by 2 small curly haired offenders who think my spine is a sofa. It's as if they have a built in 6th sense that alerts them to when I'm open for attack- Perhaps its that noise I've started making when I bend down, you know, the one that every man over the age of 35 makes that's like a balloon deflating that draws their attention. All I know is that one moment I'm alone thinking it's safe to clear up, the next my back is forming a U bend under the weight of 2 telly addicts who treat me as a human piece of furniture. Spinal surgery, here I come. #newspineplease #0percentAPR #dadsofa #fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad

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I seriously believe that all parents suffer from some form of mild Stockholm syndrome. Depsite being oppressed & forced to work a servant to our pint sized captures, like a free buffet lunch, we always come back for more. This is especially true when I go away for work. The first day I embrace my freedom & revel in that rarest of commodities – silence. But within 48 hours I strangely miss being yelled at & forced to clear up other people's poo and start to really pine for home. In my mind I would return to 4 perfect children who would greet me with open arms & proclaim their lives were incomplete in my absense. The reality was 50% of my girls acknowledged my return & within 5 minutes my tired jet lagged body had been transformed into fleshy climbing apparatus while i listened to a list of things that broke while I was away & now needed fixing. I don't think Anya even knows I went away as she's now permanently hard wired into Fortnite! I sure they missed me but it still amazes me how quickly normality is resumed! #institutionalised #parentingstockholmsyndrome #givemeachance #likeineverleft #jetlag #Fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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▼有那麼活潑的女兒，每天都需要無數的精力才能夠撐下去吧！

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Conventional wisdom tells us that the passage of time through space happens at a constant rate forwards, but when you have children, that changes. I can only conclude that there's a rip in the space time continuum right above the girls bedroom as time just vanished this evening, leaving me feeling like I'd be screwed hard by a flux capacitor with anger management issues. One moment it's 6.30pm & I'm rounding them up for a bath, then I blinked & it was 8.15pm the world had fallen apart. Bath time – a tsunami nightmare that would have drowned the entire cast of 'honey I shrunk the kids'. Teeth – a stand off that ended in toothpaste in the eyes. Story time – A jackanory balls up that left me questioning my life choices. Bed time – a yoga session for hyperactive chipmunks that ended with Ottie hiding for 15 minutes in silence & me shouting down the street in the dark because I thought she'd gone (only to be found eating a chocolate egg under Anya's desk covered in a blanket). Of course, as I'd focused all my energy on these 2, the elder ones hadnt even had dinner! It may have only been a total of 1hr 45 minutes but I've aged several years on the process. I'm stongly considering calling Doc Brown to take be back to 2015 so I can get a vasectomy. #doctakemebacktogetavasectomy #ihatetuesday #screwedbyyimetravel #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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If the summer holidays were a person, they'd have alot to answer for. In fact they'd have been called in for questioning & probably locked up for multiple life sentences by now as they get used a scapegoat for anything & everything by the kids. "But it's the summer holiday" is a sentence that rings around our house like an echo designed to make your brain dribble out your ears. It's responsible for: staying up way too late ✔️dinning on a sugary cereals any time between 8am & 7pm✔️ watching previously banned crap on TV ✔️having more biscuits in the house that a mcvities distribution centre ✔️getting away with behaviour that would send family phychologists into early retirement ✔️ random food items inserted into food shop with the stealth of ninja in kashmere socks ✔️ . Oh well, only 3 weeks to go. To top it all, When we got home, I locked eyes with Ottie who then immediately filled her undergarments without so much as a wince. It was then I realised I'd left 62 neatly packed unused nappies in the supermarket by the checkout. I'd forgotten them as I was being hassled for magazines and shopkins. Guess where I'm going now…..more nappies. #summerholidayshavealottoanswerfor #schoolholidays #3wkstogo #imgoingtostartsayingit #sugarhypedkids #dadlife #instadad #FatherofDaughters #fod

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▼被壓制了，我需要支援！

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One moment I'm method acting the crap out of my role as a granny named Lucy at an exclusive tea party hosted by the twins, the next they've abandoned me quicker than the entourage of a celebrity embroiled in a sex scandal to act out scenes from a budget version of king Kong. In that moment, I transformed from being an engaged parent to a 36 year old man in tent who's been left ponder his life choices whilst talking to himself in strange accents & drinking air from a wooden cup. Isn't parenting wonderful. There's a long list of things I've continued to do when the those with the attention span of an senile goldfish decide to sod off that includes colouring, Lego, playing with dolls & simple puzzles that I time myself to complete because, well, why not! Who else has been dumped mid play & continued on your own? #abandoned #budgetkingkong #thisairislovely #maninatent #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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Ottie & Delilah still confuse the hell out of me but I'm starting to see differences. They could be mistaken for a narcissistic toddler starring in the mirror, yet they're obviously wired differently when it comes to tackling everyday problems that 18mth olds face. Much like a team building exercise at work that no one really a cares about (apart from Phil in finance) this morning the twins tackled the age old conundrum since bowls were invented – "How do I drink the milk at the bottom of the sodding bowl if the bowl's stuck to the table?" Ottie opted for the traditional 'spoon the milk on the table & face plant in it' – standard. Delilah thought outside the box & employed brute strength to overcome the gravity of the entire planet & poured the bowl, tray still attached, down her gullet. Somedays I struggle to express in words just how proud I am of these 2. #1problem2solutions #futurecrystalmazecontestants #nopointinclothesatbreakfast #philinfinanceisageek #breakfast #feedingtime #parenting #problemsolvers #twins #fod #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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▼每天都可以有不同的「情人」陪他共眠。

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Today I woke up lying next to a girl I love with all my heart – very apt for #valentinesday, expect it wasn't @mother_of_daughters – like my own personal space, she'd gone ages ago. It was Marnie (who's obviously been taking pointers from the chinese government) that had infiltrated my boarders & promptly claimed land rights to huge amounts of bed real estate. I woke up choking on a throat full of knotted hair, having been kicked repeatedly in the crotch for the last 2 hours as she dreamt of running with wild horses / kicking penalties – call the doctor & cancel the vasectomy, Marnie took care of it. They say love hurts & I can confirm it does – Mainly around the testes. #lovehurts #ihavetoomanywomentolove #mygirl #FOD #dadlife #instadad #fatherofdaughters

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Did anyone else spend their mornings as a kid completely unsupervised, glued to the slow flicking pages of ceefax / Teletext before actual programmes like dappledown farm, Jason & the wheeled warriors & the racoons came on? If you did, then that meant you were up before 5.30am, usually the only one moving in a house of slumbering people & free from parental control, which felt liberating! Well it seems that Ottie & Delilah have my genes as, while I did my rather convincing impression of a morgue resident, they've took the opportunity engage silent mode (a mode I didn't know they had) & descended into the darkness of downstairs to start the day on their own. I don't know what they did this morning, but I ran down in cold sweat to lots of open drawers, a nappy on the stairs, a dog wee on the floor that resembled lake superior from space & 2 children under a sofa laughing hysterically while eating dry cheerios. I guess they enjoyed their independence but now I'm terrified for tomorrow morning. Fyi if you don't know what ceefax is, then we can no longer be friends as you're too young. #independentgirls #unsupervised #badparenting #twins #fod #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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▼妳們給我吃了什麼？！

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I'm not saying my girls are bad eaters. In fact they're quite the opposite but they have started to get into a bad habit of becoming my personal feeders. 1 for me, 3 for daddy (multipled by 2 as they're twins) . If I resist or pull away, the force by which the food is jammed into my mouth is tripled & results in a fist to the back of throat, half chewed weetabix being deposited directly into my stomach & more gagging than a super injunction. Perhaps it's a clever ploy so that they always have a clean plate and I'm just the mug that hasn't caught on. Outsmarted by a 2 year old again…… in a year's time, If you happen to witness an amorphous blog being cut out of my house & hoisted onto a flat bed lorry with aching axels by an industrial winch usually reserved for cargo containers, just know it'll be me and it will be thanks to these two. #feeders #forcefedtodeath #letsmakedaddybig #noyoueatit #fatherofdaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad

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▼也許是上輩子太花心，這輩子才會過得如此「幸福」吧！

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Forget ultra marathons, this summer has been 2 month long endurance parenting test that's pushed us beyond what we'd previously thought humanly possible. It's tested our ability to balance childcare with work & to not forget where the girls are at any one time, our patience with bored kids (despite being offered every activity known to man) & our skills in pulling together meals that aren't scoffed at my our in-house restaurant critics. @mother_of_daughters & I have be played off eachother, been eaten out of house & home on a daily basis, argued until the blood vessels ruptured in our eyes & confiscated screens over a million times while aging about 20 yrs in the process, but we've also laughed a lot, made some memories & emerged at other end of the summer holidays tunnel smiling & without having killed each other, so we must have done something right. Only another 16 more years of this to go before they all leave the nest & I start crying permanently for the rest of my life because I want them back. #thesummerparentingtest #endofthesummertunnel #nomurderhere #thankgodforschool #summersoverletsmoveon #enduranceparenting #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #fod #instadad

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這樣的炫耀方式，是不是非常令人羨慕呢？如果還想看 Simon 與「情人們」可愛的互動，可以追蹤他的 IG帳號！

來源：Instagram

來源：爆新聞OmgTwwwwallother

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